Attack of the Randomness
by darkandmorbid
Summary: Random oneshots compiled into one story. Warning: Possible spoilers, crack pairings, OOC, and just plain weirdness.
1. Of Foxes, Raccoons, and Dogs

This was orinigally suppost to be a comic, but neither of us can draw. Anyway how we hope it makes you laugh.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, if we did we won't be writing fanfics.

* * *

Kiba was taking Akamaru on a walk. Unfortunately for him, his ears heard arguing.

"Foxes are better! Believe it!!!"

He walked over to the source of the voice, the loud mouth Naruto. Naruto was apparently having an argument with scary redhead sand ninja.

"Raccoons are the best", Gaara said emotionlessly. Kiba was surprised he'd even argue over favorite animals…

"Foxes!!"

"Raccoons."

"Foxes!!!"

"Raccoons."

"Foxes!!!!"

"Raccoons."

"Both foxes and raccoons are pathetic scavengers. Dogs are the best!

Naruto and Gaara turned to Kiba glaring evilly with inhuman eyes.

**CENSORED FOR EXTREME VIOLENCE **

"What happened to you, Kiba?" the fifth Hokage asked while healing the half dead ninja, whom his teammates found dumped on the side of the road.

"Scavengers aren't pathetic."


	2. Kyuubi or Not Kyuubi

Here's they next comic thing from mine(dark) and morbid's brains. Hope ya'll find it funny!

* * *

Shikamaru Nara was known for analyzing abilities, but this time he was a little stumped. Recently he had been observing a former classmate and a good friend of his. He had some freighting suspicions about Naruto Uzumaki. He had come to the park to get some fresh air and work on his ever growing list of why Naruto could be connected to the Kyuubi.

(**On a piece of paper**)

Reasons why

-He was born on the day Kyuubi attacked.

-The adult villagers seem to hate him.

-He has marks that look like whiskers.

-He likes pulling pranks, which is fox like… or he could just wants attention.

-He has inhuman stamina.

-He heels unnaturally fast.

-He has a carn…rameniverous? appetite.

-He told Gaara he had a monster.

-He was freaked out by Gaara only when he found out some of Gaara's past.

-He used strange charka to beat Neji, when he shouldn't have been able to use any charka at all.

-While everyone cheered for his success, almost all adults were worried by this.

-According to Sasuke he beat Gaara by turning into a giant fox.

-Akatsuki is rumored to be after him, but my superiors won't tell me if that's true.

-Temari once said something about Gaara and Naruto truly understanding each other.

-Sakura told me that when Naruto gets upset and/or in a life threatening situation he gets the strange charka, his whiskers become bolder, and his eyes change.

"Ok", Shikamaru said out loud, "I should probably think of reasons why he's not." Shikamaru thinks long and hard for a few moments before writing the why not reasons.

(**On paper again**)

Reasons why not

-Kyuubi tried to destroy the village, but Naruto will do anything to protect it.

A few minutes later. Shikamaru would scream in frustration, but that would be too troublesome. "Is that the only reason why not?" He said lazily.

Suddenly he heard the voice of the subject of his list, "Whatcha doing? Making a list of why or why not you could date Temari? I could try to convince Gaara not to kill ya, if you like?"

"No, I-It's nothing!"

"Come on let me see!" When Shikamaru refused, he proceeded to tackle him. After a brief struggle where multiple Narutos appeared, the jinchuuriki got hold of the list. His face paled and he seemed shocked for a moment, but it was soon replaced with a fox like grin.

"So you figured out my secret", Naruto said mischievously, "Guess I'll have to eat you now."

Shikamaru's face expressed a mixture of disbelief and wariness.

"Relax, I'm not Kyuubi… But I still have to eat you." At that point Shikamaru jumps up and makes a run for it.

Naruto takes off after him shouting, "Wait! Come back! I was kidding! Believe it!!"

Inside Naruto's head a slightly whiney demonic voice echoes, "But I wanted to eat him. I'm sick of ramen."

"Shut up you stupid fox! You can't eat him! He's my friend!" Naruto mumbles under his breath, and then yells at his friend to stop.


End file.
